Down the Republican Rabbit Hole

To follow up on an earlier article exploring imaginary threats that the right-wing wants to, uh, battle, or something, Steve Benen over at Washington Monthly has noted that to oppose the latest liberal boogeyman, the Fairness Doctrine, a right-wing organization has been founded to slay the liberal beast.

Monday, the MRC announced the formation of the Free Speech Alliance, a group dedicated to fighting against the reinstatement of the Fairness Doctrine, an old FCC regulation that mandated equal time for opposing viewpoints in opinion programming. The move was announced in a post on MRC's blog, Newsbusters, that was titled "The Free Speech Alliance Declares War on the 'Censorship Doctrine.'"

Yeah, you read that right. Righty wingnuts are so terrified of this 'enemy' that doesn't exist, that they're forming a group to combat this imaginary foe. Well, since they're going that route, I thought I'd mention other causes they could fight for:

 - The anti-abolishment of Fox News
 - Stricter laws protecting child workers in lumber mills
 - The abolishment of the 'Sex Doctrine,' which requires straight men and women to submit to gay public sex
 - The 'Right Doctrine,' which says that all followers of right-wing ideology have to wear a scarlet "R" around their necks

That should keep Repubs busy with plenty of feigned outrage and paranoia for a while. With all these imaginary enemies creeping outside their homes, maybe they'll be so busy fighting them off that a real governing party can emerge and, y'know... govern.